


Buffalo Bill

by zsomeone



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Crack, Gen, Silence of the Lambs References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-02
Updated: 2012-10-02
Packaged: 2018-03-17 00:33:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3508466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Random crack of the guys using the hot tub wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Buffalo Bill

“It rubs the lotions on its skins, it does this whenevers it is tolds!”  
Skwisgaar was just passing by, they couldn’t use the hot tub since it had been drained for maintenance, when Toki’s voice caused him to pause. Backing up two steps, he looked in and saw Toki standing beside the hot tub with a water hose in his hand. There was the top of someone’s head- Murderface? It looked like Murderface- who was sitting in the bottom of the drained tub. Deciding this might be entertaining, he leaned against the doorframe to watch.

“It rubs the lotions on its skins or else it gets the hose agains!”  
“Yeah, juscht rubning it on my schkin...”  
“Eww Moiderface stops! Don’ts rubs it there!”  
“Where elsche do you think I ever rub lotion?”

Nathan wandered up beside Skwisgaar. He started to speak, but Skwisgaar shushed him and whispered, “Jus’ watch, dis ams good.”  
“Agh, stops! You’s not supposeds to does that! Now it places the lotions in the basket!” Toki aimed the spray nozzle at him.  
“Hold your horsches, I’m not done with it yet!”  
“It places the lotions in the basket! Lasts chance!”

Pickles wandered up and stopped in the doorway with the others. “I always knew thet kid was gonna go all Buffalo Bill on us sahmday.”  
“As long as he doesn’t actually, you know, try to skin us, it’s pretty funny.”  
Skwisgaar just nodded in agreement, watching to see what would happen next.  
“Puts the fuckings lotions in the basket!” Toki was very agitated now.

“Hey, is that hose on? Because the hot tub’s supposed to stay dry so we can use it again soon.”  
“I has no idea, he amns’t used it yet.”  
“I think we’re ‘bout ta find out.”  
None of them had any clue how keeping the hot tub dry would let them use it faster, because hot tubs hold water or they’re just holes, but that’s what they had been told by some maintenance gear.

“Fucks you, you sicks bastard!” Toki blasted Murderface with the full force of the nozzle.  
“You monschter! Can’t even let a man jack off in peace!”  
“You’s not supposeds to be jacksing off! I don’ts wants to see that!” He didn’t let up with the water.  
“Schtop schpraying me, jeez!”

Nathan glanced at the other two, who were clearly not going to interfere. With a sigh, he stepped into the room. “Toki, stop that! We’re not supposed to get the hot tub wet!”  
Toki stopped, turning to see them all standing there. He bent down and grabbed the lotion off the side of the tub and threw it at them. “It puts the lotions on its skins or else it gets the hose agains!” Then he blasted the hose at them.  
Skwisgaar and Pickles quickly ducked back out of the doorway, but poor Nathan got soaked.

Seconds later, they heard Nathan’s wordless roar, and Murderface charged past them naked. “Schee you later, schuskersch!”  
“I’M GOING TO EAT YOUR LIVER!”  
Toki bolted out the door and down that hall. Skwisgaar and Pickles looked at each other, and wordlessly decided it would be best to be someplace else for a while. Nathan would calm down once he changed into dry clothes.

As they walked down the hall (in the opposite direction that Toki had gone) Skwisgaar suddenly grinned. “Ams de lambs still screamsing, Pickle?”  
“Gawd damnit, nawt you too!” Pickles changed directions, really regretting his choice in last night’s movie. And also the fact that he apparently was Clarice.  
He went to his room and locked the door. As long as nobody came to breakfast is someone else’s skin, it was all good.  
And as long as nobody _was_ breakfast too, of course.


End file.
